15th of October to the 31st of October

Hello fellow readers. I have been on a hiatus. On a media cleanse, one could say. The reality is, that I was a bit sick and overworked and then headed into a 3-week-long holiday. There hasn’t been a lot of internet during that time and there has been little to no writing apart from some additions to my stand-up material. Now I welcome you back into my arms and words. I invite you to follow me through some writing exercises from a book. Let’s go!

15th of October: “Write about a time you felt spiteful”

True story. When I came back from China - the very first time after my one year during my studies - I felt alone. My fellow students didn’t move back to the dorms and therefore the smallish city that felt even smaller after having experienced Shanghai. We all had one semester left to write our Bachelors thesis. The winter that year was cold. Lots of snow. I clung to every single happening in those dorm buildings and the people I met, and on the weekends it felt I was the only person living there. Then Christmas came. Back with family but in a tiny little village. After the festive days, I sat there on the couch. Typing away and spitefully applying to jobs. Whenever I am full of spite, I don’t think clear. I become a capitalist mindset sales dude and so it happened that I took the first job I could get, and said recruitment job just felt like me selling insurance again, but a tad more complicated. I got out of that job after 6 months and moved back to China. Don’t decide things out of spite. Feel and decide with your heart, not the heat in your head.

16th of October: “My relationship with money as a romantic partner”

The relationship with Mrs. Money is something I wasn’t able to look at my parents and learn. My parents grew up in a different time. A different country as a matter of fact, and they didn’t talk or teach me about relationships with possible Mr./Mrs. Moneys. I looked to people that felt like possible older versions of myself and how they handled their Mrs. Every time I did do that, however, I realised that their version of me had a head start in the relationship game and that I need to learn a lot about relationships and just go with it. In my early 20s when I was with a some Mrs. Moneys, I was leaning hard into those relationships and tried to get the most out of it. Later I realised that those relationships are important, but not everything. Lesser Mrs. Moneys followed during my studies and I had to cut ties with some of them, but this felt great. Now I am still a bit clingy with the Mrs., but I accept the ebb and flow as long as the trajectory is right. That relationship is important, but definitely not the most important thing.

17th of October: “A familiar day-to-day place is haunted”

Oh no! My Monstera is haunted. I realised that she is not like the other plants. I have a half green, half black thumb. Meaning plants in our home of a 50/50 chance of making it through the first year. We have been on holiday and the Monstera just survived in an overwatered swamp. She also survived desert like phases when the whole family forgets that this plant also needs water. She just bounces back. Every day. Every night slightly curling leaves and birthing new leaves no matter the circumstances. I think there is a motherly rabbit like ghost in there that is just happy to haunt something. Happy to just show off and birth leaves and thrive through whatever circumstances you throw at them. They are in control. They decide what happens, we just present obstacles that the ghost accepts and excels at.

18th of October: “Write a vague and general statement that might apply to almost everyone”

This is such a Taurus thing to say. Honestly. Let us look together at the future. We have clarified that people of that star sign are stubborn when they set their mind to something. The next year will be a constant ebb and flow of obstacles being thrown your way. You may struggle, but eventually overcome. As for relationships, you will be pretty stable or find a stable relationship - the stars align in just the right way. Be careful with your health and body, though. When the moon is in retrograde, you might have trouble sleeping, so it might be a good time to invest in proper sleeping aids*.

*this horoscope is sponsored by sleeptightinwhitegoodnight the one-stop shop for bed, blankets and more for the sleep you need no matter your zodiac sign

19th of October: “Today’s Zeitgeist conceit”

Easy. It’s the know-it-all. People greatly overestimate what they know and are capable of shouting about. We became a bunch of narcissists and empathyless fuckers. As long as we have it semi-okay, we basically allow ourselves to punch down and call people lazy, dumb and make our way with little to no resistance. And if we get some resistance, then we make ourselves a comfortable bed as a victim, and we lie in it. The few ones that speak out with facts and warm and provide solutions get laughed at and tire out. I believe we will enter a phase of right-wing conservatism so that the people that scream for it will learn through pain that this might not have been the best choice, and we revert to something that makes more sense.

20th of October: “Any reason why this couple shouldn’t be married”

This scene is great. So much opportunity to have the life come crashing down on some evil person and just become a hero for that moment and a legend forever after. Look, I don’t want this to happen to anyone, but when someone steps up and exposes a web of lies and deceit there, then that is great. I recently watched the second Sonic film, they kind of have that scene, but it is not as exciting. This is the time for someone to grow a spine and tell all about dead relatives or cheating or the gay side-piece that sits in the first row, really hoping to stay the main-peace but putting it all on the line. The moment when someone just breaks out of a shell that a family constructed around and with that person and then just exposing it, shining a light at that thin layer of paint that hides the impurities they all silently agreed on.

21st of October: “Waldeinsamkeit”

As a German, I have not used this word in my life so far. I like it, though. The feeling of being lonely in the woods. Imagine red riding hood feeling that on her way to her grandmother. The reality is, that I don’t think I would feel that way, not in the woods here in Germany. I feel relaxed and content in the woods. When I was a teen most of my free time was spent playing in the woods, gathering mushrooms with my grandma, building little huts, and swinging wooden swords. So no, even if I would be on my own, there would be no feeling of Waldeinsamkeit, more so a feeling of solitude and content. I searched for the word now, and apparently the word describes a cosy feeling of being alone and surrounded by nature. So yes, I do feel that and would enjoy it. So I feel this twice a week when I bike to one of the lakes here and do a little swim. It feels great to be alone and be in touch with the world out there, with nature, not necessarily just the woods.

22nd of October: “Write about a narcissist you know”

Hm… There are two I can think of. Do-getters. Siblings. Had great, successful careers at a young age. Even though there should be some pride and experience in life and lessons learned, they fall for conspiracy theories and have a negative outlook on life, business and culture. Relationships fall apart and because blood is thicker than water they fight and get along again after a while, as for romantic relationships they seem to pick someone that can one up them in craziness. Successful they still are, but I think and believe that they have zero real friends and that makes me feel sorry for them, but also not, as they have chosen that life.

23rd of October: “A memorable birthday”

This must have been my 30th. It’s been a while, but I remember. Friends from my hood met my later to be wife for the first time, and we had a great time with a lot of beer, booze and meat. Silly hats were worn, pictures taken, and I think a friend or two from almost all of my stations in life was there. The weather was beautiful, everybody smiling, and it wasn’t just a day like any other. It was special. Stories were shared and connections were made between people that have not known each other before. I do love when that happens, but often my friends don’t get along or stay in touch with each other.

24th of October: “Gather some names for fantasy characters that you want to use”

Harald Svenson, Yvonne Sonnenschein, Chris Turner, Karl Tibor, Jenny Malone, Tanya Schmidt, Marc DeGout, Tom Emer, Martin Kummer, Helen Turner, Sky…

25th of October: “Can anyone be a writer? Does it come naturally to you?”

From the bottom of my heart, I believe that anyone could be a writer and everyone should give it a shot. It is like stand-up-comedy. In my ideal world, anyone will have tried to step on a stage and present what they think is funny. I mean in school we all have to write and, like with reading books that you have to in school, this can shy people away from writing. Sad. Just these days, I listened to a cool German YouTuber, and he explained he was bad at writing in school and didn’t enjoy it. Today he writes 6 pages for videos a day - it’s his job. People can learn to write and should at least try. It is part of your voice, or at least I want it to be part of mine. As a kid I was a bit more in my head and I loved reading. Creating things with words on paper came easy to me. I love writing essays. I always tried to add value to things with words or stories I came up with or that I found to be adding to the gift or situation. Try it out. Create something with words, maybe just for yourself. Maybe for your child. I love that you don’t need anything to start, and that kind of skill can be useful literally anywhere.

26th of October: “Speaking in tongues and how to write it”

I learned that this is also called Glossolalia and that word first brings a song by Sigur Ros to mind. Beautiful. I don’t believe in speaking in tongues but if I would have to write about it I would try to make it sound as silly as possible. Like someone immitating someone with severe tourettes but filling the “normal” moments with nonsensically wullu-lullu-bababapapa. Silly. Like the people that dream that up.

27th of October: “What is [literary character] like in bed?”

What is Geralt of Rivia like in bed? We might have an idea or glimpse of it, but I don’t remember much of the in-bed-scenes as the bed was a unicorn at one time and we all do remember that, I do think that Geralt of Rivia would be good in bed. He had tons of practice. In his heart of hearts he is well-meaning mutant with the best intentions. He would be in bed like the best male pornstar and with the addded benefit that through a lot of “errrrms” and otherwise good to great verbal-conversation no scandal would ever come out.

28th of October: “Truth is stranger than fiction”

I don’t know. It’s really small things that I find stranger than fiction. So for example the very first time I went on a holday completely alone and to Bangkok out of all places without telling anyone I find myself on Soi Cowboy. If you don’t know what that is, then let eme tell you it is a raunchy and wild street full of sex workers, bars and random people visiting. I had a beer in hand and just “discovered” that street so I walk through take it all in. Someone shouts “Björn” - I must have misheard. I continue walking. Again and again until someone turns me around at my shoulder and there is a dude that is years younger than me that I befriended during my time at the university when the new semesters started in Languages and Business Administration. The dude lived there and just happened to be there on that night and see me randomly passing by.

29th of October: “The scents that bring us back”

Smells are apparantly the strongest memories and I can attest to that. There is a specific smell that brings me back to the early nineties and my teens and being in nature or nature-adjecent with good friends in bungalows or places we had our first few beers in. It is a smell that I tend to get, rarer and rarer, in summer. It’s something I smell outside usually, when the sun is shining and some wood is drying and mixed in is the dry smell of thick paper and wallpaper. There might also be a touch of muhsroom smell in there, but just a hint. The body of that scent is the sun and the forest, then there is some evaporating rain and the slight hint of teens in puberty that ending with a head of pine and drywall. Now that I think of that smell there also has leaded gasoline and oil in there, something sharp but memorable. Yeah, I think that is the smell that takes me back. In early autumn I noticed this smell briefly riding through the woods and passing a shed that just stood there in the sun.

30th of October: “Associations with activists”

To me activitsts are something I associate with positive change or urgent change. I sometimes disageree with the methods of some activists, but I almost always understand where they are coming from. I often envy activists and wonder how they find the time and break out of societal norms to join their activities and protests. I think of punks, revoluzzers, young people that are climate aware. Tankfully I don’t associate the dumb corona-conspiracy heads in a group with activists. Those were and are idiots. I also think of PETA (very questionable, but the vision is one to support) and Seawatch (fantastic through and through). I don’t think of genders or colors of skin that would change anything here. The cause must be human and we all are regardless of gender and colour.

31st of October: “Write a death scene”

“Say goodbye to little Timmy”, he croaked out of the 50 centimeters of snow that surrounded him. The soles of the black leather boots compressed the snow to ice under his feet. The same soles that failed their grip after a short trip over their too steep roof. The christmas lights stopped tried to stop the fall but managed to just flip him his spine to degree where the impact at the wrong angle dislodged some vertabrae. Now he just lies there. Dressed in Cola-red and the skin slowly taking on the color of the snow. The last Christmas. As the private phone of the rescuer starts ringing with that tune by Wham!.