27th of May to the 20th of June

Hello fellow readers! I love you all. May was nuts. I think it was the fastest-passing month in my life, ever. June continues with so many fun activities, festivals, and interesting meet-ups and shows. Tonight I will be performing Stand-Up at an Open Air show here in Leipzig. I also don’t know why but on TikTok I am getting videos of people (and kids) suffering from rabies and it’s heartbreaking. Apparently, they are deadly afraid of water and can’t drink, and will pass away with almost 100% certainty. Crazy! I am also halfway through “House of Leaves” and it’s an experience. It dragged in the beginning it felt like a university project with all the footnotes but then it picks up and crazy things are happening on the pages and in the story. Can’t wait to dig further in. Anyway here is the recent stories and there is a lot of them. Have fun!

27th of May: “Your favorite clothing item”

I think it is my Red Wing boots. They are the most expensive shoes I have ever bought. They are black and have a good mileage on them. I walked thousands of kilometers and they still look like new. I can rock them for business and for everything else. Only in the proper summer heat, they might be a bit too warm. They are made out of leather and funny enough I don’t get stinky feet in them. Great stuff. One time flying out from Heathrow back to Germany I had to take them off because they triggered the metal detectors and on the X-Ray-Display I saw the many nails that surround the sole and hold the shoe together. “That is some proper boots, mate.” the Security dude said and I couldn’t help but nod.

28th of May: “What happens next?”

Although you’re obscured from the sun, the air is thick and warm on your bare skin. You cannot hear each other over the deafening rush of water, so you make faces and gestures in the semidarkness, your backs pressed against the rock.

There is only a sliver of light reflecting off the cave walls and hitting the water grimacing at us. Mocking us. From “Are you okay?”, we went to “Can you hear me?”, to “HELP!” - though all in vain. Can you sweat in water? I think we do. I did read that when stuck in a maze one surefire way of getting a way out is touching a wall and following it until you find an exit. I try to replicate that with my back against the wall. The humid air makes it hard to breathe, so I move slowly and picked the direction that sounded like it has less water noise, but to be honest that was more of a feeling than actually hearing a difference. When I slowly shuffle along the rocky walls I feel a hand reaching out to my hand. The hands embrace and this other hand clenches a bit as to assure me, we are about to find a way out. Together.

29th of May: “Write about the last time you truly relaxed.”

I always try to get comfortable in uncomfortable positions. That is a Jiu-Jitsu thing. But the last time I truly relaxed was with my friends walking through the woods and into the Czech Republic and back. I don’t need to stand still to truly relax, but for a certain amount of time, it doesn’t have to matter what happens or doesn’t happen. All the possibilities I have are okay and it doesn’t matter if or when they happen in that time window. I can let go and relax when I can be just there and when I am not the one making decisions. There were moments when I was able to just lay in the grass and close my eyes for a bit. Feeling safe. Talking or no talking, walking or resting. All the same, all good. Nothing is for certain but at some point, we are going to be at the place where we fall asleep. Batteries charged, body exhausted. Truly relaxed.

30th of May: “Fear stopped you from doing something.”

Tough. I try really hard to not have fear control anything that happens in my life. Fear is an okay compass but ultimately you decide which direction you want to walk. The last time I fear did stop me from something was this road rage episode that happened to me and my family. We were biking a car overtakes me. Way too close. I raise my hand and shout something like “Look at the road”, as the driver was on his phone. The car stops 100 meters in front of me. Driver window down and they ask what my problem is. I tell them I wish they would observe the road as opposed to their phone. This triggers them and 3 men get out of the car to get into a fight. I consider racing away but remember my wife and kid on their bike behind me. So I jump off my bike before they can push me off. One of them has one arm pulled back to indicate his willingness to punch me and one of them tries to sneak up behind me to do the same. Some fear sets in. I wave the guy from the front away trying to de-escalate and point to my wife and introduce her. Who punches a man in front of his wife and kid. They did not put two and two together and I was afraid of executing physical violence. Not in front of my wife and kid and not against three dudes. That fear held me back from leaning into the fight and staying in a defensive and de-escalating position. The police in civilian clothes joining in did the rest. In the end, I filed charges against those idiots, but in that case, fear helped to a degree.

31st of May: “What’s a book that you haven’t read but feel that you should?”

“Nichts” by Janne Teller. A Danish book that a great podcast I listen to talked about. Apparently, this book has been part of the school curriculum in some parts of Germany and parents were outraged. The mark of a good book as I would call it. This book is part “Lord of the Flies” and part escalation of events of the movie “13 Sins”. Sounds like a good time to me. It’s also very short with 150 pages or so. I need some small and intense book that I can inhale over a weekend or so and this one shall be it. I did read books that were not recommended for my age and with themes that were too dark or too adult too early and it just got me more into reading. So let’s go. Can’t wait to dig into that book.

1st of June: “Recorded dialogue out in the field”

Hm… I did not take this one seriously. I know that this sort of exercise and listening is essential for writing dialogue and writing dialogue is still somehow what I would call my Achilles heel. That being said I engage more than I listen when out and about. Sometimes I claim to have the superpower of having people say “Hi” to me. I just give them a look and smile and they say “Hello”. But these days that power extends a bit more. I was waiting at a tram station and that is not a regular thing. I was listening to a podcast and watching the family waiting on the bench. At some point, the dad approaches me and I thought he might be asking if the tram will come at all but he says: “Hey! I bought a 24-hour ticket yesterday morning and it’s still valid. Since I have another ticket for today I would gift it to you.”. “Yes, thank you.”, I answer and ask him if I would have to punch that ticket again and he said: “No, I did that yesterday around 4 pm and now you have pretty much all day to go wherever you want to go in Leipzig”. Good people exist. Everywhere. We just have to keep our eyes open. My favorite Späti (a sort of late-night or weekend shop for booze and cigarettes and daily necessities) has a beautiful human working there. Christina always says: “Hey mein Schatz, wie geht es dir heute?” or “Your wife looks very beautiful. You are very lucky to be such a great family.” it’s energizing and beautiful and sweet. Another time I stepped out of the lake and dried myself off and an older couple said hi and asked how cold the water was, the words were not that important but they gesticulated with the thumb and index finger something around 5 cm. That might have been the temperature.

2nd of June: “… gets under my skin. I wish I could…”

It’s been months. Years maybe and I always felt like a happy-go-lucky fellow. I have had a wonderful time eating the weirdest food items I could get my hands on. I saw it and I ate it. Chicken feet? Easy. 1000-year-old eggs? Delicious. Balut? Okay. Blood Clam? Sure. All of that. However, eating tons of raw meat seems not to be what our human body is made for. Now a needle gets under my skin. I wish I could turn back the time before I had the blood clams. Hepatitis A is no joke and liver failure is in the cards. Just try to not get food poisoning. If some sort of food raises the risk of getting Hepatitis by 10% or more I’d think about it. But enjoy weird foods. Those are fun!

3rd of June: “A word at random from the dictionary how does it relate to your day?”

insignia - noun. a badge or distinguishing mark of office or honor

I don’t really know what to do with that. Insignias don’t really play a big role in my life. I believe my mom owns an Opel Insignia. I was wearing one on my barret when I was serving in the German military. I just know there are really cool-looking ones and stupid-looking ones. I really do like the insignia or brand that the band Sleep Token uses. They are an interesting New Metal Band that combines everything from Breakdowns to R’n’B and basically started their own cult. Very cool music, cool masks, and concept. Insignias fail to impress me, but sometimes they can be powerful. I mean look at the Houses in Game of Thrones.

4th of June: “What is the worst that could happen?”

Right now? To me? The environment? There are so many things that could be the worst. In Saxony, we will have to vote for the parliament next year, and if we look at questionnaires right now, roughly 30 percent of the people in Saxony are basically indicating that they are willing to vote for a far right-wing party. The conservative parties tried to imitate and copy topics that attract voters from that party, but they clearly rather vote for the “original”. It scares and concerns me that conservative and backward ideas will stop, hinder and even turn back progress that has been made, is currently made, and will be made. So the worst that could happen is, that the people of Saxony vote or work with idiots and/or proper Nazis that catapult us back to a sorry state you wouldn’t want to be in. I learned that in the next 5 years, we will lose half of the working populace in Saxony due to demographic reasons. We need diversity, people with brains and ideas from all walks of life and those far-right knuckleheads would make EVERYTHING worse. That is the worst that could happen.

5th of June: “6 sentences of thoughts about a family member”

A bundle of joy with so much energy that gets away with recharging twice, sometimes only once a day with sleep. A 3-year-old can grow beyond belief in strength and willpower when it comes to doing things. Things like going to a swim class where everyone else is twice her age and parents are not allowed. She mimics others’ facial expressions and makes us laugh at least once a day. Even though she takes away from my sleeping place I can’t be mad about that. I believe she will do and create great things and I believe and support her every decision.

6th of June: “An ancient myth in modern times”

Think about it, he thinks as he fills and cleans the complicated coffee machine. It’s been three months now with no sleep and no pause. After every cleaning the machine shouts in the way of beeping at him and demands another cycle of filling the water up, pouring more beans in, and running the descaling program. The part that is usually reserved for just running the machine and having people enjoy the coffee just doesn’t even have to see. That part is running on fast forward. Only the tedious part. The cleaning, the refilling, and the descaling remain. Ad infinitum. Forever. It’s hell.

7th of June: “Attaching a number to everything”

It’s been 7 weeks since the last three-some. They require quadruple the amount of planning that a two-some would typically require. Around 5 days before such an endeavor, you better think twice about having it happen at all. There is zero percent chance that it happens the way two out of the three of you think it will happen. 50 percent of the time it works all the time. One time it will be the dream of three people at the same time out of the 617045 in the city. You can bet 9 to 10 Euros or 2 good bottles of wine on one party dropping out before it happens. 6 hands dancing between 3 people for one night and the possibility of it being 100 percent fun.

8th of June: “Who do you wish you could write like?”

There are two people and the answer may not surprise you if you know me. Stephen King for his ability to churn out book after book and attract such a large audience of readers of all ages to his books. The other one certainly is Chuck Palahniuk. I love his style. I love the way he writes, the repetition and themes that he tackles, and the passion he has for the craft. I love how he builds a community of writers and gives workshops and hosts writing/reading nights and all that. If you don’t know who either of these writers are then read a book from them. Any book really. Also, there is another one: Haruki Murakami. I adore his ability to weave in the fantastical element of speaking cats and for the lack of a better word “magic” into stories that are fairly grounded. Maybe I would like to have all three mixed together and get the power of that fusion.

9th of June: “Compose a joke”

A Vulture, a Koala, and a Panda have a conversation. About the food they eat. Stranded on an Island they exchange the meals they would like to have. Week 1 the Koala starts: “I eat only Eucalyptus”, and with none of that on that island this is the last week he runs around on said island. Week 2 the Panda has its turn: “I eat Bamboo, Fruits, and Veggies”, and with that, he manages to live through another week. Week 3 the Panda asks the Vulture: “What do you eat?”, and while asking that he turns around to see the Vulture's head blood red in the intestines of the Koala, and muffled the Vulture replies: “ass”.

10th of June: “A message in a bottle I open today from my 10-year-old me with a secret”

Look future me, there is something I have to tell you. It’s really important. So important that I have to write this message and seal it away in this bottle. There is this book. This really important book. Full of secrets. Secrets of the Dwarves. It has pictures and descriptions of important skills that they pass on from Generation to Generation. I hid it under my bed. Your bed. I hope you find it there and take good care of it. I am sure no one has found or read it to this day but me. Keep it and hold it dear. I hope it helps you as much as it did help me. I learned how to make a fire with sticks and stones. Always comes in handy and I hope you take it with you wherever you go.

11th of June: “Describe the person that you imagine if you read the first line”

She only bought lottery tickets when it was a record-breaking jackpot.

I see this accomplished 45-year-old woman with long black hair and it is usually tied to a ponytail to show off two large, golden hoop earrings. She runs a company or is self-employed. Classy. She used to run a construction business, but that has been faltered by some cultists. Now she dabbles in finance. She is doing well. Very well indeed. The car and the house she owns show that. There is even a pool in her backyard. Money is no stranger to her and on a subconscious level, she is fully aware that the odds of playing and winning the lottery are low. Super low. But, if the jackpot is record-breaking this could create wealth without any bounds. A sort of wealth that repairs the few monetary problems she deals with on a monthly basis. Everything paid off. Everything is truly hers. That is the time to play.

12th of June: “Exquisite Corpse #2”

I still have not found a writing buddy to do these exercises with. Any taker? (It’s an exercise where two people write sentence by sentence, so I alone can’t do it.)

13th of June: “Let’s pretend there is a rapper with the following line, create another…”

“Her callypigian rondure is a Rubenesque rapture”

Excuse my Freudian slip, mouth agape like Tarrare

14th of June: “Continue a line of dialogue from a random video”

“So that is what he looks like.”, he chuckled. His friend looked at the monitor and giggled silently. “I can’t believe this Troll got in position to spread this sort of shit.”

“Yeah, who would have thunk that a professor can loose his shit liek that. I mean. It started off with gender pronouns. Now he interviews that nutjob Kennedy. The one that was addicted to heroin and who’s banned on all major platforms.”

“I find it’s just drivel anyway that they share. I can sound like Kermit the frog and spew nonsense.”

“DO IT”

“The neo-marxists just want to control the governmental elites while indoctrinating the youth. The men that we must protect. They are doing impossible things.”

“Man! Add the crying and this could be a perfect soundbite. Indistinguishable from the real thing. Brilliant.”

15th of June: “Recount some anger repellant experience”

I mean having a 3-year-old-daughter and up until this point there where plenty of moments when my anger at something wants to come out. That being said seeing other parents shout at their kids it is hard to watch and for nine out of ten times completely unnecessary. I am not saing I don’t get loud. It happens sometimes, especially if she puts herself in danger over something, but again with meltdowns and all that I try to breathe my way through it and let it pass. It’s not easy. Seeing adults behave like toddlers is the best anger repellant in the world. Meltdowns at cashiers. Outbursts over little nothings. Rudeness toward people serving something. There are little toddlers in all of us and we should know better. The other day I saw a dude with his son just screaming at him at the checkout. EVERY SENTENCE. SCREAMED. Screaming is for music and movies. In real life we can shut up and live with small inconvienences.

16th of June: “Describe the sky without gray, blue, clouds or sun”

Overcast is determining how the sky feels. It gives way periodically and out pours some light. Light like in pictures depicting religious figurines. Sometimes though that Overcast just closes completely and presses the rain out that then pours out and graces our faces with refreshing wetness. Who would think that behind that shroud lies a reflection of our ocean. The one thing we have explored a little less than what really lies behind the sky. At any time the sky is either a mirror of the water masses, a dark shroud or a pitch black look into the past with stars and things that fly around.

17th of June: “Idle hands are the devil’s playground, what else could be”

Wandering eyes that avoid other eyes. I am fully aware that there are people on the spectrum, ticks or with autism or other handicaps that would be clearly except from this. But I have noticed that a lot of dodgy characters in the wild avoid eye contact but scan everything else around them thoroughly. Like the people that stab other people after they have asked them for a lighter. Like the pickpockets in China that masterfully grab your phone from your pocket with super long chopsticks. Like the teen kids that sneak trinkets out of supermarkets in their pockets. Like some pranker deciding where to take a dump in their “friends” tent. Wandering eyes are the devil’s playground I’m telling ya.

18th of June: “Portrait of a father opposite of mine”

A headstrong and well-read person. Someone who supports all my choices and who can deal with strong and hard-working men and women. Someone who did read to me for a long time and is proud of the many books their child has read. Someone who instead of pushing their own soccer agenda puts the hobbies of their children first. Someone who always looks for the blame inside of himself first before pointing with the fingers literally at everyone else. Someone who just is there and high-fives, laughs a lot and can teach you about life. Someone that I am trying to be. The strongest supporter, the safety-net and the rock that always welcomes you when life gets rough. Someone who is interesting, that learns from the world and people around and someone that you want to copy.

19th of June: “The last time I was awake at dawn”

I don’t know. It happens often enough. But being outside and out and about and embracing it is a rather long time ago. Bangkok. It must have been maybe 2014 or so. I was alone on a trip without any plan or reason. Took a flight from Shanghai that landed in Bangkok at 2 or 3 in the night. The stingy person I am I didn’t book a hotel or anything for that night. The plan was to just get into the city, walk around, have a beer and later a coffee and see the city come to life at dawn. Dawn happened but the city didn’t come to life early. The sun came up and I couldn’t find a store to buy a beer at first, that took a bit until after dawn. I walked through largely empty streets of a city I have never before been in. It was magical and silent. I pictured myself in one of the houses there starting my day in a way that I would start my day living there. Later I found a corner shop for a beer and a coffee. That is the correct order and at some time during the day even a hotel to settle down in at some point. Good times. Dawn is magical.

20th of June: “Happiness in 10 words”

Friends, Family, Music, Books, Games, Drinks, Nature, Walks, Time