30th of March until the 10th of April

So it has been a while, but I have continued writing. I am not sick and had a great comedy set last week. Maybe it pays to look into stuff that is not offending anyone. Things are good and the weather is picking up. We are right now at a long and great easter weekend and had great food and enough rest. So let me show you some stories I did write up after some prompts from a book.

30th of March: “Search PEACE on Pinterest and choose your adventure”

I found a cabin in the woods. A cosy cabin on top of a tree trunk in a magically green forest. The windows were tinted in all colours of the rainbow. As an early teen, I wanted to become a monk in a Chinese monastery and learn Kung Fu. A tad bit later my dream of home became a cabin in the woods with enough space for a huge library and complete solitude and you guessed it: peace. I still find this very alluring but would like to add fast internet to my little cabin in the woods. I’d come out once in a while to entertain and talk to people, but wouldn’t that be a great way to live? Wouldn’t that be a place or a way of life that is so much more peaceful than what we have right now? I mean at the moment it is tough for a majority of people to figure out which fruits and vegetables are in season and foraging and learning about the environment, your environment, is insanely fun and peaceful. Peace!

31st of March: “A celebrity dying for a cup of coffee unrecognized”

The classical hoodie, base cap and sunglasses combo it is again. Like every Marvel movie character that has to be the invisibility cloak that Chris has to wear when disappearing into the masses. The craving got stronger and stronger. No coffee or caffeine at home and last night’s shooting schedule didn’t help get that weird feeling out of the head and start running again. When the streets are buzzing with people like an industrious bee hive it is best to just enter and let the flow of people drive you. Chris Evans did just that and unlike his Captain America role he didn’t want to be the fish out of the water, but in the real world, he kind of is that. As a superstar, you are attracting attention if you want it or not. That morning he wanted nothing more than a coffee and maybe become normal. In the wave of people, he had to find the right moment to jump out of the stream of people to get a hot cup of joe. And there the opportunity arose. He turned his head ever so slightly to have the crowd push him in that direction. It’s a lot like learning to drive, you basically go where you look and the neon sign with a cup of coffee was exactly where he wanted to go. Two coffees to just function at the peak human form were about to be ordered. If there is a supersoldier serum for normal people then that is coffee. It did to his brain what CGI did to his altered “skinnier” appearance. And he is so close.

1st of April: “How many writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

One. Writing is done in solitude.

Two. One to write down the instructions, the second to boast about having read all of this before.

Three. One to hold the light bulb. One to talk about all the young adult novels he has read and one to keep the peace and turn the first one around.

Forty-two. Because there is one important book you would have to read to get to the meaning of life and pop culture has adapted everywhere, but you can still out yourself as a nerd with good taste in books if you have read that. One of them for sure can handle a light bulb.

2nd of April: “Your surroundings in a few precise sentences”

There is an empty bottle of beer on my desk. Don’t judge me - it’s a holiday. A black tea, earl grey, with some milk and honey is steaming away. I am sitting on a cheap computer chair and the 3 of the 4 friends in the Friends Per Second Podcast are talking to me on my laptop monitor. Behind me is the bed. It’s made and usually houses 2.5 humans and is currently decked out in red. I am typing away on my great mechanical keyboard and Chuck Palahniuk reminds me on a metal plate precisely in the middle of my desk that: “Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.”

3rd of April: “A repetitive sound”

I really do like to waste time on TikTok and there is this sound, this one, you know it, it goes: “Uff!”. It’s a surprisingly short and hefty uff. It’s the sound a kid would make if he rides down a slide too fast and faceplants without getting seriously hurt. Uff! Or some dude running into a cabinet. Uff. Turns out that is from a game called Roblox. Uff. Roblox is a very creative game where you can basically build games or at least I think so. Uff! It’s a great sound and it makes me happy: uff.

4th of April: “A note to myself next year”

Hey Björn! What’s up? How are you doing? Just keep doing what you are doing and good things will come. Just try to structure whatever you are doing a tad bit better. It helps to have friends or partners provide that structure or try to follow a red line in whatever you are doing. Time for loved people never comes back so put them first. Not much else man, enjoy, we are doing great and will continue to do so. I just hope that things in the world got better, if so, good stuff! If not, then eventually they will get better. Enjoy, laugh a lot and take care of the little one and your wife!

5th of April: “A deceased relative visits you as a bird”

If that would be a possibility I want my Grandma to come and visit. She would be an intelligent bird, so I am thinking of a raven, a crow or a magpie. Probably a magpie. There are a few of them out there in front of the window. Stealing food from other birds in the back garden. They look fantastic. Elegant. White and black like a tuxedo or dress for an important occasion and what an occasion it would be for my Grandma to come to visit me. I’ll go out into the back garden and try to find some worms to feed her, something that she wouldn’t have on a daily basis. I’d make a place where she can land and watch us on the balcony. So she can come again and see us out there on the balcony eating and grilling some food and she can watch Chiara rip leaves off of plants and eat them and blow colourful soap bubbles her way. Soap bubbles that then reflect our little family. Floating mementoes of things she has not seen in her human life. I just want her to have it good and make her feel welcome at any time. Just to give back how welcome I always felt being around her.

6th of April: “Purple prose: an overly florid description”

Silky and soft felt the 6-layer restroom paper between her rosy cheeks. It took just two wipes and she moved her hand and arm elegantly at exactly the speed that was needed to pick up everything that has left rosebud. Expensive hints of lavender hid all the smells that shouldn’t be there and the rose-coloured water swallowed expensive paper and waste products alike. Nothing longer there than wanted. At the touch of a button, the beautifully ornamented lid closed and the water flushed but not with a normal sound. Beethoven played. Fresh panties were handed to her by the robot butler. She put them on and it felt like a second skin. Pooping has never felt so great!

7th of April: “An activity of physicality”

Every week I bike to one of the lakes surrounding Leipzig and then take a dip in the water. I try to do this twice a week. There is a routine to that. I pack my backpack with the necessities. A towel and since last autumn also a little plastic block to sit on. That is it. Backpack packed. Zipped shut. I get the bicycle out of the cellar. Lift it up the five stairs to the front door. In a circular motion, I swing the bike around and have the back wheel stand on the stairs up to our flat. I open the front doorstep outside, onto the bike, I hit the button for “Cycling” and then the one for “Go” on my watch and start my usual morning or midday journey. A podcast drowns out the white noise my bike is producing. I go up a couple of hills, down some and cross an intersection here or there until I am close to the lake and nature takes over. 25 minutes later I am at the lake. I sit down on the plastic block and breathe. Like controlled hyperventilating I end up holding my breath for as long as I can after having fully breathed out. I do that twice and then strip naked. Depending on the lake the stones in the water feel uncomfortable on my feet. My legs and feet go a bit numb but keep on waltzing forward until the lake hugs me up to my chin. I then relax and stand there for a minute or two or three. I don’t keep count. Then I get out, get dressed and bike back. It’s a great activity to boost your mood.

8th of April: “Grandfather laughing as a young man”

So my grandfather grew up during a horrible time in Germany. He eventually ended up as a teen supporting German forces. The ones with the two letters. Later he had to defect and hide throughout Germany for a while. I don’t think there was a lot to laugh about for him in these times but before that when he was in puberty times have probably been better. I imagine him running with his mates on a football field in the middle of the woods on a Sunday. A white leather ball gets kicked around. Eventually, the ball lands in front of his feet. He sprints towards the goal. The goalie getting ready to jump into either corner and he prepares his reaction. The action that precedes said reaction is the shot that flies through the air and hits the goal post with full force. The goalie had no need to react at all. He just picked up the ball and threw it back. Right at my grandfather who caught it with his face. Blood shoots out of his nose immediately. He grins through the blood from his nose and smiles at the goalie, then gives him a thumbs up and bursts into laughter until everyone on the field joins them.

9th of April: “Write about something that thrills you”

My absolute favourite activity that thrills me is moshing. Moshing is just jumping around and letting body parts fly when a heavy band plays. Some people also call it violent dancing. But honestly it is pretty much the opposite for me. It’s loving everyone around me and myself. When heavy hardcore or metalcore bands play then these days I always try to not get hurt or sweat too much. I am almost 39. But then my thrillseeking brain goes on and I make my way into the moshpit. Into the whirlwind of people that run, jump and dance around. And then I find myself in that pool of energy. I start to throw some kicks into the air. Like a machine I pick invisible potatoes out of the arena floor and sometimes if the room allows it I do a cartwheel. Once I have exhausted my energy for a while then I find someone to hug or lean on and headbang a bit. I’m always careful to not hit anyone intentionally, it happens sometimes but I’ll figure out the space with my whirling arms and check the surroundings constantly to not hit someone. I hit the bad energy. I exhaust myself. I get rid of bad juju and instantly feel better after. That is my thrill.

10th of April: “… is burning”

The palace is burning. Dark ash rises into the air. It’s a sunny day. The best of times. The sun just came up and graced everyone including the king and queen. But they did not know that this was the morning everything will change for them. As usual some devout followers gathered in the square in front of the palace. To sind and praise the royals. This morning more and more people joined on the square until they filled the little side streets and every nook and cranny in front of the palace. People cheering. People dancing. People drinking wine. Some poor family leads the royals towards an empty house. A house that is just as normal and nice like all the other houses. The biggest and most pompous house burns and the royals are just a family as the sun lights up the whole city and the fire the palace.